Mom Guilt, A change in perspective.

Perspective:

A particular attitude toward a way of regarding something; a point of view. 

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Motherhood

Our past failures haunt us 

Our present failures torment us 

Our future failures worry us

-unknown

Isn’t it easy as a mother to become focused on our failures?

To get stuck in that negative perspective of ourselves.  Stuck in failing mode.  We try but we continue to feel like we are not good enough. 

Lately I have been spending my study time in the book of Ecclesiastes it’s really beginning to be one of my favorites… I’m all for self help and wisdom, and this book is full of it.

So I’m also very much intrigued by the original language, I am not Hebrew or Greek scholar by any means but I do like to dig a little deeper in my studies and see just what the original words used were and meant, as you can read from some of my previous blogs…

as I read Ecclesiastes the writer is very observant of the world around him,

As he uses phrases like 

I saw 

I have seen 

I turned myself to behold

My heart had a great experience 

I considered

I perceive 

Lo, this only have I found 

Those that look out 

When I read these I find that these phrases have something in common, they all come from the Hebrew word râ’âh

Which means to see, there is much more to this word than just that but where I want to go with it today is in my studies this word râ’âh also is translated enjoy in the book of Ecclesiastes…

As I thought about this, at first I was thinking how?…how can consider, perceive, behold, or see mean the same thing as, enjoy? 

So as I thought and I studied, I found that, 

This word can mean,

To see the world outside of yourself, 

To see the light, 

Think about it 

En joy…. In-joy 

Joy

(I love this acronym for it)

J- Jesus

O- Others 

Y- Yourself

Jesus first, others second, yourself last.

If we can do these things 

We can “see the light” 

But often we get that backwards or scrambled up, or we are inconsistent with it…

And we are drug down by theses awful feelings about ourselves and the world around us and the light seems to be, dark! 

It’s a challenge being a mom in today’s society, because today’s society tells us that “we” come first, and while I do believe that it is true that you cannot pour from empty cup, our children are the lights that we must see, and even more we need to see our need for Jesus and his light, he is the light! 

You may be reading this and thinking amen, or you may be reading this and completely disagree with me, 

But hear me out a little longer,

Often, when we are the focus, 

We never feel good enough,

We get caught up in the comparison game, 

Always trying to keep up while we look at ourselves and feel like failures, 

And we do fail,

We are not perfect,

But you know what I bet if you asked your child, 

Their mama is wonderful 

I remember being a child, I know this from experience the failures that my mom seen in herself, I did not see.  And I wonder if my kids feel the same way?  sometimes we need to stop and change our perspective of ourselves.

Sure we makes mistakes, and we are never immune to them, but usually our little  children are right there waiting for a hug, and ready to say I forgive you mama, just like our Savior! It only takes our humble mindset, not a guilt ridden heart waiting our next failure.

“Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”

Ephesians 5:1-2 NKJV

Joy in Jesus…

He sees and know all of our faults and while he does not want us to live in them he is willing to forgive them,  he knows your struggles, he knows your pain, and he just wants to show you how to get through them, move forward seeing the light! 

Look up at yourself mama,

See yourself through the eyes of your child…

Or better yet see yourself through the eyes of Jesus…

Each moment is a new opportunity to be better than the last…

“When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.””

John 8:10-12 

Mom guilt…

I know we have all had it, or if your not a mom I’m sure we have all faced guilt at some point in our life’s over things, done, or not done, feeling not good enough, or not being able to live up to someone’s else’s standard of yourself! It’s such a debilitating feeling to have that guilt. Now is it all bad? I would say no because it would hopefully cause us to make changes in our lives if we are faced with it, but don’t let guilt define you and be you! 

Jesus told the woman struck by guilt over her life choices to go and sin no more, we make mistakes, but just because we have made them doesn’t mean we are forever condemned, we move forward, doing better! 

So let us, 

See the light,

Look at ourselves from a different perspective,

Look to Jesus,

Love others,

And you yourself can truly enjoy life! 

“I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God. I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, And nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him. That which is has already been, And what is to be has already been; And God requires an account of what is past.”

Ecclesiastes 3:12-15 NKJV

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”

John 15:9-14 NKJV

 

Thank You as always for taking the time to read, My prayer is that this may help at least one person. If you are a person, held captive by guilt please reach out for help to overcome that feeling.  There is an answer, I pray that you would desire the Truth.

Beverly

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