Home.

Homes are built, but they are not just built when you have a special home it is not only built but it builds…when a home is created out of a solid and loving foundation that home continues to build…its always a process…

This is my home,

It’s made of many houses,

People,

A mom and a dad,

Grandpas, and grandmas,

Aunties and uncles,

Sisters and brothers,

Cousins,

An environment,

The sea, the wind, the fish, the berries

The sunsets, and sunrises,

The drives,

This is the place that built me,

A piece of me that rests in my heart,

A piece of my process,

My home is still being built,

As I grow I watch this home change,

Its now a home with a new place,

A few additions,

A home where I am the mother,

Raising her babies,

Creating a new home,

But coming back to mine,

I find that home is never the same place,

It may be for a short period of time,

A place where you find comfort,

But it changes as we grow,

You can go back,

But you can’t go back,

You can share,

But you can’t save,

You can hold,

But you can’t stop,

Home is a place that rests in our hearts,

A comfort that is found in a place called,

Love,

How I wish memories wouldn’t fade,

Things wouldn’t change,

But change is not always bad,

Sometimes change is good,

Change is part of our purpose,

Our purpose is to grow,

Grow and spread,

Spread like the flowers that God gave the earth,

Or the wings that fly through the sky,

Spread that beauty and that love,

Pass it on to those you love,

Especially those sweet little souls,

Those eyes that look up at you,

To find your smile,

The ones that see all of the good,

The ones that fear the bad,

Home is a real place for everyone,

Whether we feel it or not we all have one,

Homes that are physical fade,

But a home built in your heart is always there,

As our surroundings change that home must adapt,

For me there is one constant in my home,

It’s the foundation,

The real comfort that allows me to rest my head at night,

It shelters me,

And tells me everything will be okay,

When life changes,

It doesn’t,

Knowing that,

I can accept change,

I can see beauty,

I can have purpose,

I can have home,

I can find home,

I can feel home,

I can can give home.

Home is where your heart is.

Here we are again!

My favorite time of the year! For the past 9 years we have been so fortunate enough to travel back to my childhood home…first it started with Joe and Me traveling back to show him where I spent my childhood, not realizing we would spend every year after revisiting that place! Appreciating it more and more each year, more so now when I get to see the joy on our children’s face as they get to enjoy some of the wonderful things that have made

My childhood!

Berry picking,

Minnow fishing,

Banyos (aka village steam bath house)

Dirt roads,

The ocean,

The moss,

Being wild and free,

Watching bears,

Taking long drives,

Catching fish,

Playing cards,

Spending time with cousins,

4 wheeler rides,

And so much more!

Honestly growing up I never really realized how blessed I was to be from such a beautiful place! As I raise my kids, and life gets so busy, I think back and really miss the slow paced simple life that I once had I don’t know if that was the child in me or the actual fact that it is a different lifestyle! There are times that I long for my life to just slow down. Which is why each year we take this opportunity to go and just SLOW DOWN! Just be a family and enjoy each others company, and the beautiful environment that surrounds us!

So here you have it Cold Bay, Alaska one of my favorite places to be!

Our 2018 family trip!

Brooklyn just told me mommy I miss Cold Bay, I miss the sunsets and my sunset dance! The first night we got a sunset we drove hoping to make it to watch it go down, from the lovely spot pictured above we didn’t make it in time because it was going down quickly so we stopped on the road to take pictures and Brooklyn was having a blast giggling and dancing and she obviously held tight to that moment! The memories and moments children keep are sometimes the sweetest an simplest moments that don’t go as planned!

The cousin crew…

Subsistence life…

Wild and free…

“There is no land like the land of your childhood.” -Michael Powell

You only get one childhood, there comes a time where life becomes clearer and we become adults, things are just not as simple anymore, not as pure and perfect as they once seemed, but then along comes children of your own, and you begin to revisit that childhood, whether it is in, the foods you ate, the movies you watched, the games you played, the people you loved, the things you did, or the places you had been.

All of a sudden those children help you again to see the purity in the world, if you stop just a second to see the world through their eyes, you may get a glimpse of your childhood again, it doesn’t last long but those moments are every bit worth every second, and to know that you are sharing what once brought you so much joy with your own children, is a whole new joy within itself, and life is a beautiful thing!

Skiff rides and Truck drives

(They both seem to put Norah right to sleep)

Whether it’s the ocean bay or the bumpy roads, neither of these things get old to me when we are in the village! Im always up for a trip out on the ocean or a long drive on the dirt roads!

And here is some more fishing, family, and fun!

And that’s a wrap to our 2018 Cold Bay getaway!

P.s. Two more cousin crew members will be joining us next year!

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. The LORD performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. The LORD is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them. The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word! Bless the LORD, all you His hosts, You who serve Him, doing His will. Bless the LORD, all you works of His, In all places of His dominion; Bless the LORD, O my soul!”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:1-22‬ ‭

What do you want to be when you grow up Mom?

My kids asked me this question recently…

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Grown up…hmmmm? That sounds like fun? 😉

I guess I have always known exactly what I have wanted to be when I grew up…
now here I am a grown up (I think)…

It was a mom…
I wanted to be a mom..

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I wanted to be a mom so I could be needed,
I have always had a passion for caring…
Especially when it came to children, I wanted little hearts who would cry for me!
And I could pick them up and comfort them…
Little did I know that desire was fulfilling a need of my own
I quickly realized that being a mom wasn’t as pretty as it looked it was much more challenging,
Being needed wasn’t actually about being needed but needing,
Needing help, needing love, needing patience, needing faith, needing trust…
Having children taught me how to be a child, a child of God,
We are all children of God his desire has always been to be our comforter, to pick us up when we fall, to hear us when we cry, to teach us, nurture us, feed us, and love us.
But We must have the humility to need him.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:1-6‬ ‭NASB‬‬

As parents I think something we could all relate to is the protective nature we each have for our children, you would say the same thing if someone were to mess up your child’s life wouldn’t you?

Children truly are a gift, even if you don’t have children of your own I think you could still appreciate the beauty they bring into this world,
Their unfiltered, innocent,and pure nature.
I will work as hard as I can to protect their innocence as long as I can, teaching them kindness and love!

“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:3‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:25-30‬ ‭NASB‬‬

This scripture inspires more than you know,
I strive to be this woman,
My children bless me beyond measure,
God is so good!

My children;

I love each one of them so deeply and dearly as I observe them each day protecting their souls and keeping them, and teaching them of Gods love is my top priority. I couldn’t imagine life without being their mother.

Tiernan

First I was your Auntie Over the moon in love with you, such a sweet little boy, I wanted to spend time with you all the time, you didn’t know at the time but you were teaching Mom and Dad how to love, not only others but each other.  God sent you into the belly of a mommy that watched out for you, loved you so much that she made one of the hardest choices she ever had to make, and putting her trust in me and Dad to raise you the best we could! And now we get to share you again with her and it fills my heart more than you could ever know. She is near and dear to my heart she also taught me how to Love, God works through moments in our life that challenge us in ways that sometimes we don’t want to go, or they hurt to see, but he teaches us to lean on him and when we do he helps us grow into people with greater joy than we ever knew we could exist with and a faith that can move mountains. Being a mom to you has really, really, REALLY  helped me grow and I am not putting that lightly, you taught me how to give up myself for another person. Through the joy and love that you shared with me, you stamped my heart so deep that I became willing to step into places that scared me so bad, but I knew there was a little boy there that needed me and I needed him! So I did it over and over for you and will continue to do it over and over, my heart hurts because I sometimes feel like I’m not good enough for you but you teach me too about grace, forgiveness, and love, you may not have grown in my belly but you did grow in my heart, and not just mine but many other Peoples too! You have such a big heart and it’s so loyal to the ones that love it in return!! Keep growing for the Lord, you have a wisdom inside of you that can teach multitudes one day!! I love you dearly!

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Brooklyn

Mommy and daddy prayed for a beautiful little girl and God gave us the most beautiful little girl that shines from the inside out! Watching you everyday love with so
Much grace and forgiveness, there are times I feel that I don’t even love to the measures you do!

If anyone does you wrong before they even get to the chance to say I’m sorry you have already said that’s okay it was an accident I forgive you!! You observe love the most out of everything I do, and believe me I have my faults you could observe…watching me mother and mimicking it to T with your dolls and sister! Always Cherishing your bible and God with so much faith, hope, and purity!! Your prayers consisting of things like Help us be loving and kindness, and forgiveness and thank you for loving us and thank you for God. My little Brooklyn we sure prayed for you hard and God just proved to us that he blesses and answers prayers in the most beautiful ways!

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Norah

Mama sure has learned a lot from you and I know your going to teach me many more lessons! You to have a heart bigger I think sometimes than you know how to handle at the age of 2 so it comes out that way! Your emotions are strong and so are you but when you love you give it all! Your hugs seep through the body into the soul they are so powerful, and your laugh and joy you share, also rubs off onto others similar to the way when you fall asleep and you are finding comfort, you find it by trying to comfort someone else, your little hand searches for skin to caress and gently rubs so lovingly whoever is nearest to you! I pray that you continue to help me practice grace, your little soul is the sweetest and I know your trying to figure it out. When we pray you try really hard to remember the things we pray for and you repeat them as you listen, you are an observer too and I sure do love you too! God knows the desires of our hearts and when we found out you were a baby girl mama cried because I knew you and your sister were going to lean on each other and help each other grow just like I did with the sisters God gave me! ❤️❤️

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I think about this job that God has given me, to be.

Their mom

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this gift,
A blessing beyond measure…

And then I think, ultimately they are not mine but HIS, I know them but I can never know them to the depths that God does,
What I wouldn’t give to know how to comfort them at every moment, but I know someone who does,

and that’s my real job,

it is  to teach these precious souls to know God, love him, and call on him when they need help because, he too wants to pick you up and give you a big warm loving hug when you cry, and mine couldn’t even come close to HIS!

I love my children and I love my Dear Heavenly Father!

Our children learn by the examples that we set, what better example than to be a Child of God, to become the Best Mom I could be.

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